Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sidebar Review--Alfie's Home

Holy fucking Christ. This has to be the most disturbing children's book to ever be self-published by a therapist without a degree and an advocation of the 'gay reform program'

You can find the book here:

In case you don't feel like excerting yourself, it's about one boy's fucked-up childhood, what with his parents constantly screaming at everyone else, and his pedo uncle touching his boyhood, and him (gasp!) maybe being gay.

But don't worry. He goes to a shrink who informs him that his so-called fagocity was nothing more than his need for his Daddy's love. So now he's not gay! Hazzah!

Also, PedoUncle apoligizes for his many months of tatering our hero's tots by bowing his head and crying, apparently. This is enough for the eponymous Alfie be happy forever, now that he talks to his father and he isn't gay and he secretly glows at what Bubba is no doubt doing to Uncle right now.

So, Richard A. Cohen, Mr. Same Sex Attachment Disorder, Ex-Gay Except For That Time In New York (thank you, Wikipedia), I do not know what you intended out of this book, but I do know that it did not have the desired effect.

If you'd be so kind as to not write a children's book ever again, we'd all be willing to throw you a parade.*

Oh, and by the way, if Alfie hasn't yet killed himself, sodomized his paroled uncle with a crowbar, or strangled a prostitute, let him know we all feel for him. Truly.
PS That is a picture I found on GoogleImages. That is not my hand. I am a girl, thanks.

*Offer expires last week

1 comment:

  1. ugh. that is the worst. The book, I mean, not your review, which is, as always, great.