Since it has been many a month since I have graced my 3 followers with my presence (and myself, since it would appear that I am my own follower), plus my sister who keeps telling me that you all are 'outraged' (her words) that I haven't been writing anything (I believe 'bitch fit' also worked it's way into that conversation, but by then the subject matter had changed to Oprah and A Million Little Pieces), and despite this gross hyperbole, I will write many short reviews of various things and ideas I have happened upon since my last blurb.
Susan Boyle--Yes, the British sensation who is being treated as a small child dressing in drag at his parents' dinner party. An interesting, amusing spectacle. She is a fanatastic singer. Will everyone please get over how she looks?
Miss California--I don't care about the gay marriage thing. I don't agree with what she said, but it was an opinion. I can respect that. Her subsequent lies concerning photos of a nekkid nature are just ridiculous.
Prop 8--I know, that was, like, a year ago, but I just got the numbers for how much the church spent on trying to get it passed. Many a zero, friends.
Runaways Vol 1--A comic created by Brian K. Vaughan and Adrien Alphona for Marvel (later worked on by such cult favorites as Joss Whedon and Terry Moore) follows, originially, the offspring of a team of supervillians called 'The Pride'. Upon discovering their parents' secret, and subsequently their own hidden powers, they run away to try and undo the damage their parents have done, while also attempting to figure out what their parents are up to and....well, yeah, all that stuff you'd expect. While it is obvious it was written, as usual, by grown men who only have an inkling idea of how teenagers actually talk, it is much better than other Marvel comics I have encountered. None of the principle characters have costumes (with the exception of eleven-year-old Molly, but it's really just a cut-up curtain), they only use their 'superhero' names half the time (which is a shame, because some of them are actually very good), and the storyline isn't completely half-assed. The romantic subplots within the group, I could do without, but I guess that makes the big reveal have a bigger impact. I don't really know how to review a comic, but I liked it. Rating: 7
Movie: Lars and the Real Girl--There are so many ways the makers of this (forgive me for saying this) adorable indie starring Ryan Gosling as a young man who develops a relationship with a mail-order, life-sized sex doll (Bianca) could've made it exploitive, sexploitive, gross-out, mocking or just bad. They, fortunately, didn't, choosing to approach it with enough sincerity and care to create a touching little world where a town comes together to pretend Bianca's real, for the sake of the eponymous Lars. It never veers into (again, forgive me) silly or cutesy. Gosling gives an amazingingly understated performance, along with Emily Mortimer as his well-meaning and pregnant sister-in-law, Paul Schneider as his guilt-ridden older brother, and Patricia Clarkson as the family doctor, who doubles as a psychologist. Rating: 8
Book: I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone--About a girl who's mother ditches when she's a toddler to 'follow the music' of the rising punk scene, as she grows to have her own punk band. As they rise to fame, she (I'll quote the back cover here) 'tries to find the song that'll bring her mother home'. This was an okay enough book, but one thing that bugged me throughout was the fact that every minute of every day from the age of 14 is spent obsessing about the absentee mom she doesn't even remember. Literally. Not just thinking about her every once in a while, when she's playing a song or whatever. Every. Single. Minute. She can't go a page without talking about how her mother abandoned her, messed up her ability to hold down a relationship, blah blah fucking blah, we get it. You miss your mommy. Get over it for five seconds. Christ, I'm rambling again, aren't I? Anyway, if you can ignore that fact, which I'm probably making a bigger deal than it is, than it's a perfectly okay book. Better if you're a fan of music (many obscure references). Rating: 6
American Idol--God, who the fuck cares? This show mass-produces a heap of identical singers, with the exception of a few 'originals' (read: gay, parent, oddly-colored hair, army veteran, all four), all of whom take singing so seriously it's annoying just listening to their interviews. From tryouts on, they blubber on about how much they want this, they want this so bad. Butchering songs by people more talented then they, either annoyingly modest or obnoxiously confident ("I am the next American Idol"), hamming up their vocals for all their worth, and dropping in how mad awesome the others are when they're voted off. I'm being picky, yes, but I just really hate this show. If you, right now, have the urge to leave a comment about how amazing the show it, and how I'm just jealous/ignorant/pathetic/etc, then kindly leave it and never come back here, because you are not welcome.
Nadya Suleman 'Octomom'--She's an unemployed, single former stripper who purposely got inseminated with eight kids, even though she already had 6 under the age of ten, and then begs us, America, to show her sympathy and give her our money. And she's in negotiations for a reality show. Ahem.
That was nice. I'm done for now.