Friday, April 17, 2009

Fight Against "Tyranny"

We all know Republicans don't have the greatest track record (read: Bush). In fact, the last eight years have been so embarassing that you'd think conservatives would sit down quietly and give Democrats a shot.

You'd think.

In actuality, it would appear that the Republican party are, as always, going to be immature douchebags. Shocker.

First (and this was brought to my attention by The Daily Show), they began a campaign against Obama after his tax increase (or before--I've been on vacation), saying that they are fighting against the 'tyranny' of the Obama presidency. Mind you, this isn't even a year into it.

Because Obama has some nerve being a democratically-elected liberal who doesn't agree with you on every issue!

To quote Jon Stewart (I know--I'm so uncreative): "That's not tyranny, that's losing." These rich, hyper-conservative self-described patriots are not only hypocritical, but downright preschool(ish). When liberals spoke out against Bush, they were communsists and unpatriotic, even though Bush might have run the worst presidency in recent history (including an ill-advised war and over 5 billion dollars in added nation-wide debt). However, they, by protesting Obama's 3% Tax Hike (the horror), they are true Americans, likening themselves to be a more repressed and tyrannised (I'm using 'tyranny' way too much in this post, but this is how these people are actually talking) than England. England. Otherwise known as that tax-obsessed monarchy with a history of batshit-insane rulers killing five-year-olds for breathing the royal dog's air. We are now, apparently, worse off because, again, Obama is trying to fix the clusterfuck Bush left with a relatively miniscule tax increase.

Obama, unlike Bush, was elected democratically--taking home both the popular and electoral votes. You cannot argue that you're not being represented by your government, because guess what? Democrats haven't been represented in the last eight years! You've had your fucking turn!

Now, I'm sure, to you, this is a courageous fight against communism (and Nazism, according to a clever rendition of Obama with a Hitler suit and mustache) that, once you've won your fight will be turned into an uplifting biopic sponsored by the resurrected Nixon (now serving his 6th term), and winning the Big Five for the 67th annual Academy Awards. It's not. Stop throwing such a Texas-size hissy fit.

I almost forgot: this teabagging business. I don't know, and I don't want to know. Don't be cute, Joe the Plumber, it doesn't suit you.

What would you do if you saw real tyranny? If you were in a country where you didn't just brag about totally getting arrested any minute, you actually do. The beaten-by-a-suited-man-with-lots-of-rings, held-for-6-days-with-no-food-in-a-dungeon-with-skeletons-chained-to-the-wall, 1984-style arrested. If you were in such a place for one hour, you'd come back, buy an Obama T-shirt, pay your taxes, and shut up. We're the Man now, bitch. And if you don't like it, maybe next election you should get off your recliners, pause your DVD box set of COPS or An American Carol or whatever, and vote.

I know, after eight years on your pedestals, you're unaccustomed to the sudden liberalization of your precious government--but it could be worse. You could be Canada.

1 comment:

  1. LOL i should show this to my aunt who went to the tea party...